Change-up: HISTORY OF VIOLENCE

I really was planning on hitting the Brattle for LA VENGEANCE D'UNE FEMME tonight, but my friend, Nurse Jen, managed to shanghai me for a lively screening of HISTORY OF VIOLENCE at the Capitol in Arlington. Yeah, she really had to twist my arm...

I've wanted to see HISTORY since it opened. I've dug most of Cronenberg's work since I saw SCANNERS when I was a kid. Exploding heads! What's not to like? On top of that, it's a very smart movie about the rise of mutants in the human population, and done 20 years before the big screen X-MEN craze.

The prescription of a new drug to pregnant mothers-to-be in the 50s and 60s results in a percent of their offspring developing telepathic, telekinetic, and pyrokinetic abilities. I think the drug was a painkiller? I can't remember exactly. Although, I DO remember the name, Ephemerol. Y'know, I don't remember most of real and actual Chemistry and Physics from school, but I remember frickin "Ephemerol"... stupid brain. Anyhow, as adults, some of these so-called "Scanners" learn to use their talents for research and the pursuit of enlightenment. Others, who don't understand their powers, are driven mad by the uncontrollable invasion of their minds by others' thoughts. Still others train themselves to use their powers to manipulate, control, and even assassinate non-Scanners. Revok, one of the most powerful Scanners, sees himself and his brethren as a next step in human evolution, superior to normal men and women, and as such, deserving of mastery over them. The scientist who originally developed the Ephemerol that produced this generation of Scanners recruits a small group of them to challenge Revok's plans for world domination. He's just located a Scanner who could potentially rival Revok in raw talent and power. The problem is Revok's found him as well...

Sounds pretty freakin good, don't it? That's cuz it is, oh yeah! See it if you haven't, but please forgive any bit of special effects that doesn't hold its own against X-MEN or DOOM. You'll be looking at early 80s sci-fi horror.

Y'know, I'll bet Cronenberg would do an amazing job with the right superhero franchise. I wonder if he's on the short list for director of any upcoming Marvel or DC hero movie adaptations?

SCANNERS was my first introduction to Michael Ironside, who played Revok, the Magneto of the Scanner underworld. No small thing for a future fan of V: THE FINAL BATTLE, heh. Hrmmm... Has there been a sci-fi movie yet that's pit Michael Ironside against Lance Henricksen? That would be like a B-movie HEAT, y'know?

SCANNERS was also my first contemporary encounter with Patrick McGoohan, as the scientist creator of Ephemerol. Until then I only knew McGoohan as the wily and mod-ly dashing Number Six, forever escaping The Island of THE PRISONER. He was super-coolness. Okay, let's flash-forward twenty-some years and get back to where we started...

HISTORY OF VIOLENCE. A solid and original little story. I didn't know it was based on a graphic novel until I was sitting in the theater and the opening "based on" credit blipped by. I can totally imagine this being a great graphic novel read. I'm definitely looking it up next time I hit New England Comics. On screen tonight, though, I hafta say it was a bit slow. The things is, that notion may have been amplified by the zoo animals with whom Nurse Jen and I shared the theater.

I can't say it was unexpected, really. Friday night at the movies in Arlington, you have to know you'll get a mix of high school kids, empty nest couples, and sewing circles, along with a collection of frugal young hipsters, and of course, that quiet guy, y'know? Keeps mostly to himself? That guy. Well, tonight's particular mix included some extra giggly teens, several of that hard-of-hearing guy, asking his spouse "What?" every five minutes to have her repeat the last line of dialogue, one fellow who doesn't seem to have an indoor voice, much less a whisper, and a whole herd of idiots who don't know how to kill the Bach and Beethoven ringers on their cell phones. Oh, also, one woman off to our right who kept flipping open her brightly backlit phone, presumably to check the time. I can tell you what time it is, lady... It's one frickin minute after the last time you checked! Grah!

In general there was a LOT of chatter and movement among the crowd. Unless someone is actually holding a conversation on his/her cell phone while a movie is playing, I can usually let stuff slide, sure, sometimes with a not-so-under-my-breath, "Putz," or, "Toolbox," but that can't be helped, right? This bunch was ridiculous. There were two shows in that one room, the movie on the screen, and the ADD menagerie in the seats.

So, it may be that my impression of the movie's pace as slow is dilated by the exasperating spazzy behavior of the audience. Allright, forget about the pace issue, and I hafta say that Viggo and Ed Harris are excellent in their roles. Viggo as Tom Stall, the victim of mistaken identity, and Harris as, Fogarty , the evil, creepy, mob killer who's got it in for him, or at least, the him he believes he is. One night, when Tom Stall is closing up his Main Street diner in a quiet Indiana berg, two Bad men come in for some coffee and pie. When they draw weapons and threaten to kill Stall's staff and customers, Tom turns the tables on them in an incredible adrenline-fueled act of self-defense and protection. His celebrity as a local hero gets him noticed by some dangerous men who believe they recognize him as one of their own, long gone missing. Fogarty is sent to bring him back into the fold. Wacky fun ensues!

Oh, William Hurt, as Fogarty's boss, Cusack, is quirkily brilliant in the short bit of time he has on screen.

I've gotta say, coming off of yesterday's early morning recap of the Brattle samurai series, this movie does seem a bit like an updated model of a kind of samurai flick, or maybe more of a western, given the small Indiana town setting.

Maria Bello makes a fine Mrs. Stall, a wife, mother, and partner you want to protect. I know, I know, that's all fine and good, but you've got another, much more important question on your mind, right? Well, the answer is yes. Yes, she DOES get naked in this movie, too... again... once more. I'm sure it's gotta be some kind of plus for a film to get an actress who's comfortable in the buff, but I can't help but think that extra asterisked line in the resume of an actress is there to shore up a substandard commitment to acting, y'know? The thing is, in this case, Bello is a pretty sharp actress. She's no Amanda Peet, who often seems to go starkers INSTEAD of acting.

I suppose it's the R rating at work, aligned with marketing and buzz. If your film lands definitively in R territory based on content like violence, horror, language, or drug use, you might as well hit all the R cylinders and throw in some skin. At least there's something here for the girls, too. Oh, did you not hear? That's right, ladies, you get some primo Mortensen bumcake in this picture. Viggo's bare bottom, donchaknow. Aragorn's backside. If you can stand the violence, seeing chunks of flesh blown away by gunfire, this really is an equal opportunity date movie treat! =)

Stall's son Jack has a little story of his own moving in parallel with his pop's. He's navigating the hellhole of high school as the classic scrawny smart kid, harrassed relentlessly by the jock king. He does his best to keep his head down and defuse confrontations with some quick thinking and fast talking. Scenes from his THREE O'CLOCK HIGH trials do a good job of cutting the intensity of the Tom-v-mobsters situation with angsty teenage scenarios.

*** SPOILERISH NOTE - Skip this paragraph if you don't want to read a hint of a spoiler! *** There's also a damn satisfying bit of cathartic action in the high school story. Damn satisfying!

Watch yourself when you watch this movie. Try to figure out what you're feeling and why when violence erupts on the screen. Listen to your reaction and those of others around you. If this was set in some other time, dressed up in the bits of a genre film, a western or Chicago gangland, it might not matter so much. But from one act to the next in this movie, the violence is blended for different flavors, and it's... interesting... to note what gets your blood pumping and what turns your stomach.

Speakin of stomach, it's pushing on past 2 and a half now. I should get some Z's soon as I've gotta be up in time to meet peeps for some early brunching in Chinatown. In the afternoon I'll hit one of the Doillon films at the Brattle. I may not get around to a write-up of it for a while, though, as my Saturday evening will be spent at my friend Keri's "Martini Madness" cocktail party. Gotta remember to print out and pocket a pledge form before I head over there, heh. Don't drink and pledge $5-a-movie with brian doing the watching!

Thanks to everyone who has donated to the Brattle Film Foundation so far! And special thanks to Charles Laquidara, Joshua, and Kim for working their connections to spread the good Brattle word!

Keep on keepin on~

Watch-A-Thon, Starting Line...

The Brattle Movie Watch-A-Thon starts tomorrow! Well, actually, I suppose it's already started, it being after midnight and all. Someone somewhere COULD be at a midnight preview of something or other and already on the way. Whatev. I'll bide my time, keep my pace, and then, when everyone else is spent, I'll explode like... like... ummm... like a can of soda in the freezer!

Which reminds me, I really should defrost and clean up that mess.

My October training journal...


I've been pretty diligent about training for this, but I hafta admit I'm a little concerned about the real thing. Practice and training can only prepare you for so much.

I can just imagine... I'm in movie number 14, at just about minute 100 of my second SERENITY screening of the day, when I find myself caught in the middle seat of a packed row in the mezzanine and my bladder anxiously informs me that ordering that second large diet coke to go with that medium bucket of popcorn (no butter, but salted in the middle and on top) was a bit overly ambitious... the kickass finale in Mr. Universe's complex is just getting started! What do I do? What. Do. I. Do?

Of course I KNOW - we ALL know - what my training TELLS me I do. Piss myself and keep watching. But when faced with the cold, harsh... actually, scratch that, it's more like... the warm, irritating reality of the situation...?

Oh, I can't think like that. I mustn't. I'm just psyching myself out. Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath. Okay. I'm allright. I'm allright.

Originally I was hoping to make THREE... EXTREMES the first movie in my 'thon, but the frickin frackin f/artsy Kendall Square cinema unloaded it this week, bleah. I checked their website last week and there was no "last week!" message next to the movie's blurb, carnsarnit. I just assumed that meant it would be around another week. I should've known better. It's great that THREE got some real distribution (Lions Gate, I think?) but what good is it if theaters only keep it on their screens for two weeks?

So, unless Joe talks me into catching a mainstream matinee at the Boston Common theater tomorrow, it looks like one of the Jacques Doillon films will be first. LA VENGEANCE D'UNE FEMME. A "chamber drama" that "explores the often-painful way in which people emotionally torture themselves and others as they search for personal fulfillment." Sounds like the French LAKE PLACID, no?

Over foods and drinks after volleyball tonight I recommended DROWNING MONA to Kristin, who was looking to break a run of crappy movie rental selections. She mentioned how much she digs OFFICE SPACE and PRINCESS BRIDE and the BBC series THE OFFICE and MONA came to mind first. Not exactly the most obvious leap, but that's what I came up with. I think MONA's a hugely underrated or unnoticed comedy w an amazing cast - William Fichtner, Casey Affleck, Danny Devito, Jamie Lee Curtis - having some fun w their straight and outrageous roles.

Hrmmm...Maybe I'll see about coming up w some alternate/additional suggestions in case MONA doesn't quite tickle her funny bone.

It's kinda too bad that I had volleyball tonight. Not that it wasn't fun, cuz Thursday 4's are consistently the best regular night of ball. It's just that the Brattle screened THE SEVEN SAMURAI tonight. I've seen it two or three times at the Brattle in the past, but tonight's was a fundraising screening, as well as the closing film of the samurai film series they were running. I saw every film I could in that series this week.

Sunday night was a double feature of YOJIMBO and SANJURO, which I'm pretty sure I've done twice in the past at the Brattle as well. For me, these movies tell the origin story of the drifter archetype, in the character of Toshiro Mifune's wandering samurai. This is a model for all the INCREDIBLE HULKs, FUGITIVEs, PRETENDERs, QUANTUM LEAPs, and even A-TEAMs that we get sucked into. Decent guy stumbles into an F'd up situation, uses his talents and know-how to set things right, all the while following a code of honor and behavior, and moves on. And, gawldang! but Akira Kurasawa with Toshiro Mifune can do some incredible storytelling. I do believe that these are the two movies that inspired the Eastwood spaghetti westerns, A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS and A FEW DOLLARS MORE, and they are chock full of perfect characters, familiar and entertaining personalities and types. When I came out of the theater after that double feature I decided I need those movies, and now that I think about it, probably the two western adaptations too. Good crack.

Monday night was THREE OUTLAW SAMURAI. The Brattle blurb has it in all caps that it's NOT ON VIDEO, so I'm damn glad I caught this one. The wandering samurai Shiba discovers a lady's decorated hairpin in a field next to a mill, prompting him to investigate the mill itself as a possible shelter for the evening. Inside, he discovers three peasant farmers holding their master's daughter hostage. They seek an audience with some higher lord to report the master's unfair taxing and treatment of the farmers. The samurai spends the night in their company and is moved by their plight. When daylight comes, he joins their cause. In the course of several encounters with mercenaries hired by the master, Tanba ends up recruiting two more samurai to help protect the farmers. One of these is a fellow wanderer, Sakura, who lived as a farmer before picking up the sword. The other is, Kikyo, the master's favorite swordsman, who finds he cannot continue to accept his comfortable life under the master's roof if it is paid for with the dishonorable treatment of the peasants and other samurai. When he fights side by side for the first time with Shiba, in a running melee against an army of the master's swords-for-hire, he turns to Shiba in a lull in the fighting, and shouts at him, "I like you!"

That's some good $hit right there, that is.

When it DOES make it to video, I will be picking that one up. Definitely.

Wow. Just thought of another movie to recommend to Kristin. TAMPOPO. It came to mind for the first time in years recently when someone asked about what rules there are for eating noodles. What a crazy set-up of a question for TAMPOPO, right? It must've been over late night eats at Shabu-zen, after seeing KISS KISS BANG BANG. There were many noodles to be consumed, and only spoons and chopsticks available to help. No one at the table had heard of the movie. That was a little bit sad to realize, but hey, maybe that's why I was there. To let them know about it. It's a noodle western, complete with cowboy hat topped good guy/master. It's part Monty Python, part genre-bender, applying the familiar cinematic structure and pacing of martial arts training and combat to the cooking and presentation of noodles. I know it sounds crazy, and it is, but it's so damn entertaining, funny, and visually, stunning. Also in one scene, outdoes 9 1/2 weeks for lusty and erotic applications of foodstuffs. Gotta add that one to my list as well.

Frack, 3.30am? This always happens on volleyball nights. Playing ball in the evening mucks w my metabolism. I'm already prone to night owl-ness, but this extends my late night restlessness. Nuts. Day one of the 'thon and I'm already shootin myself in the foot. And busting my bum - literally, and specifically, my left one - on the floor tonight isn't gonna help my form any either. Foo.

I can't muster the words to really discuss them now, but for the record, Wednesday night I caught the double feature of SAMURAI REBELLION, brilliant Mifune samurai dad-ness, and HARAKIRI, which felt to me a bit like an old school TALES FROM THE CRYPT for ronin.

Keep on keepin on~

Go see OLDBOY@the Brattle! Then, pay attention to KISS KISS!

Before I force my ramble about KISS KISS, BANG BANG on you, I want to push a couple of weekend Brattle offerings that you really must see if you enjoy a good solid gripping thriller at the movies (and have the balls to read subtitles =).

OLDBOY is the must-see. A man is abducted out of the world one night on the town. Drunken, drugged, he wakes up in what appears to be a hotel room. When he tries the doors and examines the windows he finds that he is locked and bricked in. He is a prisoner, or a pet, perhaps. He is allowed no communication or human interaction. His captors monitor him, and provide for him, and periodically gas him unconscious to clean and groom him and check on his health. They only take steps prevent his escape, from both his cell and his mortal coil. Then, one day, after many years have passed, he wakes up under the blue sky, on the green grass, in the middle of the city, free. And now the real story begins, as this man embarks on a search for answers to the who and the why behind his incarceration, the theft of his life. Even free of his jail, he finds that he's only been released into a larger maze. He must physically fight his way to the truth and explosions of violence in the film are set off by some beautiful and surreal images and situations - Who's hungry? Anyone for live octopus?

Do check it out. And hit it before KISS KISS, or anything else, for that matter, as it's only playing Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, 10pm.

SYMPATHY FOR MR. VENGEANCE, by the same director, is playing at earlier shows. It's got a bit more of a dark...dark...extra dark comic flavor to it - a fried misadventure about a young man, a deaf-mute, who wants to save his sister's life by getting her the kidney transplant she desperately needs. Unfortunately, legit medical channels won't provide, so he decides to take extreme measures to procure one through black market sources. He even attempts a black market trade, organ-for-organ, giving up one of his own. This goes less than smoothly. He then enlists his girlfriend to help him with a kidnapping/ransom plan to raise the money pay for his sister's medical care. This plan hits a few gigantic bumps as well. Not the feel-good hit of the summer, but a helluva good ride, and, like I said, fried.

I'm gonna try and hit both of these movies this weekend, so if anyone's into it and lookin for someone with whom to split a tub o popcorn, do let me know. =)

Check the schedule and read sensible movie descriptions at the Brattle site.

NB: Playing on Halloween - EVIL DEAD 2!!!!!

And now w the kissing and banging...
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Caught KISS KISS, BANG BANG last Friday night and really really enjoyed it. It's much funnier than I expected, and leaned just as much on Robert Downey, Jr. being the straight man (in more than one way, playing opposite Val as Hollywood detective/consultant "Gay" Perry) as the funny guy. The details of the mystery story that frames the movie are pretty forgettable, but the performances by Kilmer, Downey, Jr, and their Girl Friday (the actress Michelle Monaghan seems familiar, but I can't place her from any other flick or show), matched up with some very sharp and fun dialogue, is damn entertaining.

I'm not sure why it was only out in limited release last week. It's got the star power of a mainstream flick. Although I suppose it might be tricky to market in your typical mainstream flavored way. I'm not sure that a lot of people would notice, but I think it's opening in wide release today (I'd guess less screens than DOOM, but perhaps more than GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK).

Downey plays a small-time thief who poses as an actor to escape pursuit by the police. He unwittingly delivers an excellent performance at an audtion that wins him a trip to L.A. to try out for a movie. At his first Hollywood party, he is reunited with his high school megacrush, and then assigned by his agent to shadow a detective/consultant (played by Kilmer) in preparation for the role. When Kilmer takes Downey along on what's supposed to be a simple surveillance job, the discovery of a dead body lands them in the middle of a murder investigation and cover-up, which, of course, MUST involve his dream girl. Wacky fun ensues!

Shane Black, the screenwriter (the story's taken "in part" from a novel) and director of KISS KISS, is the writer of the LETHAL WEAPON movies. The first of which I dig the most, then the next two in their order, for being very good keep-it-moving action movies working at one-upping their predecessors yet also manage to build some characters, and the fourth, well, I really think it meant well, but unnecessarily childish ethnic insults put into the mouths of LAPD characters aside, pitting Gibson and Glover against Li called to mind the SIMPSONS bit about a STAR TREK 12 movie, with the sub-title - SO VERY OLD. Not that they couldn't still make a very impressive showing in an action movie, but against JET LI? In my alternate reality version of the movie, JET LI wins the day and becomes the marquee name in the LETHAL WEAPON franchise for the next 6 or so movies. =)

Anyhow, in all of the LW flicks, I always gave a lot of credit to the cast for making the buddy-buddy/unlikely partners stuff work so well, and they certainly did damn fine work doing it, but now, in KISS KISS, I'm seeing that the writing was pretty golden to begin with. Not all that deep, but sharp, animated, and alive. Or, maybe Black writes crap, but has got a knack for getting just the right people cast to turn his crap into gold...? Nah, that's not it. I mean, he does get a great cast to deliver here, but the dialogue is just plain fun to begin with. I mean, you actually get a very satisfying answer to the old question, "You know what you see in the dictionary next the word 'idiot?'"

Turning the expected buddy-buddy thing sideways and having Val and Robert be at odds for most of the movie makes for some great insult hurling, and the Los Angeles moments in the film seem to ring very true - like when Downey's character Harry tries to start a convo w a hottie at a bar, he admits to not being in the biz, and she simply walks away. Although, why in Hollywood today a consultant would get nicknamed "Gay" Perry escapes me. To differentiate him from detective Straight Perry? I wonder that it's not some kind of shot at a real someone working in Hollywood, that only insiders would "get...?" Still, I suppose it's the quickest way to get the audience in on Perry's orientation.

There were actually some almost subtly cool little moments that pushed the experience of the movie as a fun modern spin on a hard-boiled LA noir. The rambling informal voice-over by Harry certainly adds to that sort of feel, but goes further than the typical voice would, as Harry the actor doesn't just know the whole story, but that you're watching the whole story as a movie, too. A more charismatic villain would've gone a good way towards making that noir feel more real and tangible.

In the end, it's a wrong guy in the wrong place mystery, with a dash of dopey romance, that turns out to be a very entertaining two hours of snappy dialogue delivered by an excellent cast tripping in and out of some very awkward, funny, and improbable not-like-it-is-in-the-movies situations. The faint of heart should beware of gratuitous boobs, tuitous nipple, and surprising but important plot-driving bullets, blood, and boy-on-boy action. And kudos to the arachnid and canine wranglers, real and/or virtual.

I may hafta see about catching another screening, matinee or second-run, to get hit with some of that machine gun dialogue again, and I did really dig some of the gunplay in the pic, particularly the final bit. Fun fun stuff. =)

Keep on keepin on~

FOUR... not so fantastic...

Quick take on the FF - pretty much what I expected, a very cartoony live action superhero flick. Characters are caricatures, but entertaining in that way. Powers are done well enough, but not nearly enough quality use of them. Doom is cheapened a bit, and Julian McM (who would've been an excellent old-school Doom) can't decide whether he's got a Latverian accent or not. The final battle is very hohum. Kids'll probably really dig it. It really does feel like it's for them. Adult-types, FF fans/readers, and those who feel the need to see Jessica or that NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE Human Torch guy larger than life,I'd catch it second-run or at a matinee. Otherwise, put it below HULK and just above David Hasselhoff's NICK FURY movie in your Netflix queue.

Keep on keepin on~

the Dark Knight returns!

Saw BATMAN on Friday - it is brilliant! Only two critical comments - fight sequences shot REMARKABLY poorly, especially considering who you've got to work with (Christian Bale of EQUILIBRIUM! =) and the nature of the character (BATMAN!) - and well, the weak link of the casting... Katie Holmes, in, as far as I know, her last pre-scientological role. A sad last non-cult-indoctrinated career gasp, altho I suppose the role itself didn't have all that much to it to begin with. I honestly don't remember a Rachel Dawes from any of my BATMAN reading, but I hafta admit I've got a lot of gaps in my knowledge of Batman mythology.

I SUSPECT most of this origin story is taken from a graphic novel called SON OF THE DEMON, but I'm not certain. I don't know that I love the idea that he was exclusively one guy's apprentice. I've always like the idea that he travelled the world to learn from the greatest minds and masters of the modern age - thieves, assassins, fighters, detectives, policemen, lawmen. A lot of kickass heroic types, dark and not-so-dark, including Samurai Jack, actually borrow from that idea of training, or rather, follow the same path. The Batman mythology ultimately probably lifts, knowingly or not, from some ancient text about some legendary figure.

I can't remember now the name of the opera that they're attending when his parents get killed, but I wish I knew better its significance, for a connection to his life. I THOUGHT it was "derfledermaus" (or however that's spelt - which I think translates into "The Bat"), but I'm pretty sure that's not what was credited at the end, though. I think it was something about a descent into hell (Faust? - a deal w the devil?), which also works, but y'know, not being an opera-goer, doesn't ring any particular opera bells for me. But then, maybe that would be TOO "comic booky," to connect the opera/story to his life in a literal or parallel way, and this movie wants to stay away from that feeling?

In most of the tellings of his origin, it's a movie - ZORRO. How perfect is that? =)

The cave of bats, and the swarming bats themselves, were done really well.

I was SO pleased when Gary Oldman's cop was called Gordon in the flashback.

I'm a little sad that the movie got such an AMAZING cast together but also such an aged one. I'm concerned about how many movies we'll get to see this Lucius Fox, Alfred Pennyworth, and even Ras Al Gul in, y'know? I WANT this BATMAN "franchise" to go on for a good long run.

Would LOVE to see a real and true and well done crossover with a Superman movie.

This was the most non-superhero superhero movie I've ever seen. It makes sense that it would be Batman that would accomplish that, tho, as he's "just a man," without any true superhuman powers. But, y'know, this movie could've been made with no mention or reference to Batman, substitute a few things here and there, and just created a new...I dunno...a sort of dark Indiana Jones as a crime fighter character...or something...

And it plays like different genres in different parts, but never really breaks the overall feel of the BATMAN "world" created in the movie, y'know? Part old school hard boiled detective gangster, part modern psycho killer, part horror movie, parts action, but all holding together. Hrmm...maybe it feels more like SEVEN than any other "superhero" movie I've seen?

I DO just wish the hand-to-hand action had been shot better. Seems like a TERRIBLE place to fall short in a Batman story. Hell, even if they'd done some wacked out transition to an animated sequence... would've taken some very clever doing, but I would've preferred it to what I saw on screen.

And oh...Katie...Maybe the scientologists already stepped in at this point. Getting her a gig opposite Christian Bale (not a sci, is he?—I think I'd be quite disappointed to hear that), to get her more practice kissing pointy noses, at a comfortable height at first, y'know?

In the scenes with Bruce near the end, where she says that they can't have anything together until he's no longer needed, I kept dropping in "Dawson" and "Pacey" at the end of every other line. She just didn't seem to own a character called Rachel. She came off as a slightly older Joey Potter to me. Maybe if they showed her actually litigating, y'know, trying a case in court, addressing a judge and jury...?

Ah, but there is so much good and smarts in this movie. I will see it again. =)

Keep on keepin on~

vb-first day at the beach~

Just wanted to share a couple thousand words with everyone on the first Nahant vball day of 2005.

It took a bit of wrangling in a Boston-turned-ghost town by Nationals, but we got a squad of five players out to Nahant on Sunday morning: Christine, Kirsten, Tobi, Rowan, and myself. Thanks to you all for coming out to help enable my fixx! =)

Heh, Glen's take on Boston during Nationals - Only the C players are left! I hear that and I imagine the scene in Oz minutes after Dorothy and her farmhouse land on the Wicked Witch of the East, and the C-rated Munchkins slowly reveal themselves, emerging from their hideyholes and camoflaged bunkers, rubbing their eyes in disbelief at their delivery from the oppression of their evil bully, finally free to set up their own nets and play volleyball without worrying about blockers!

Or perhaps it's more like how those Keebler Elves ambushed the Rice Krispy guys, y'know? - They came out of the TREES, man...They came out of the TREES! Oh, Snap. We hardly knew ye...

Right, anyhow...

Rowan and I got to the beach at around 10.45am and it was already packed. On top of that high tide had just passed, so the crowd was all crowded up at the "top" of the beach, y'know? Where all the sand hadn't been touched by the water, which is where I like to set up, so as to provide a somewhat cushiony landing for all the foolish diving that I do.

Well, advance scout Kirsten had gotten there around 10.20 or so and was trying her best to maintain a 30x60 plot for our court, and she did an excellent job. There were a few folks who were still jammed close, but once we unpacked the court bits and peices they seemed to get what was going on and made to move out towards the wet sand, following the receding tide. So, I put down the lines for our court, and they ran behind and next to a few groups who were still staying put. I got the net set up, and that took about ten or fifteen minutes, and in that time, all the very-close-sitters but one (and a foursome who were a few feet out from a corner) had up and moved themselves farther from the court.

This one older woman, tho, she refused to move. She was part of a group, there with a gal pal and both of their husbands, looked like. Her chair was planted closest to our lines, and she was talking w her gal friend who was standing next to her, while their husbands, being husbands, talked amongst themselves, arms crossed, standing a short distance away.

I addressed their group, explaining that this was a volleyball court we'd set up here, and that while we always try to control the ball, a stray ball, or maybe flying sand, might disturb their camp. It was the old gal in the chair who jumped all over the subject, as the menfolk turned away, and her friend just listened. The lady kind of waved her hand and sharply asked - Just what do you want us to do? So I asked if she would be okay with relocating a little distance away from the court, closer to the water? We'd be happy to help move her stuff for her.

And man, this woman was just not having any of it. It was like she was LOOKING for an argument, a fight, a little something to get angry and entitled about, another story to buttress her ongoing crusade against "kids today," to share with her friends (who only put up with her because she put up the dough for the embroidered jackets and matching shirts for their bowling team, the Pin Cushions) at the 4pm early bird dinner...bleah.

She was all - Why should I move? YOU should move! I was here first! You can't make me move. And I swear if one ball hits me, I'll be on the phone in a second! - With whom exactly, she didn't explain. Her lawyer? The police? Her psychic friend? And after repeating my offer to help move her things - I don't WANT your help! Did I ASK for your help? The nerve! Why don't YOU move? There's a whole beach here!

And I explained to her how the town has posted that only certain parts of the beach are available for playing volleyball but of course any part of the beach is fine for sunning... - I don't care what the town says! The town can't tell me what to do. I was here first! (To her gal pal) Can you believe this? He's making me show my Irish temper!

I looked at her friend and couldn't read her at all. I think she might have been a LITTLE embarrassed, but I couldn't tell for certain from her expression. I will say that she did not offer verbal agreement or even a nod of support for the crotchety meanie.

I looked around a bit and noticed that her raised voice had gotten us quite a bit of attention from the little camps of people around our court. The idea that this was becoming a spectacle kinda freaked me out, so I left her with a little repeat of a warning... - I wanted to let you know that we'll be starting soon, and just to be aware that a ball might come this way.

Oh, rewinding a bit...

Earlier on, while we were setting up the court, she was speaking over-loud (working on the net, I didn't catch this myself, but Kirsten and Rowan did) to her friend about how - a ball had better not touch me!

Kirsten stepped up kindly to try to fill her in and advise her about our playing and suggest moving into the less crowded beach now that the tide was going out. She explained this was the only space available that could fit our court, and that we came to the beach to play. Mean Lady asked her - Am I going to see you on TV at the Olympics? Kirsten politely replied in the negative. Mean Lady snipped - I didn't think so!

Witch! Burrrrn herrrrrr!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming...

I went back to huddle w the rest of our beach vball troupe a while, to recap (alto it was mostly unnecessary, as it seemed everyone within a mile radius heard her half of our friendly little chat), discuss, joke and eye-roll. I felt a bit queasy about getting into such a prolonged argument over such a foolish non-problem, but of course everyone was with me on how ridiculous this woman's behavior was. In my mind I tried to imagine the Mentos commercial that would fix this situation...Perhaps...

One of the women players in our group could wave down a group of young bodybuilder types tossing the football around. A quick bit of exposition, a batting of eyelashes, and she'd have the strongmen march up to the little old lady and pick her up, chair and cooler and concentrated evil and all, and carry her away from the court and towards the water. The woman would be freaked out at first, but y'know, as we start peppering the ball, one of us points back at the strongmen carrying her off, and you see her starting to rub their muscular bods and deliriously smiling, and that's when she looks back at us, and my eyelash-batting friend would toast to her w the Mentos!

Something like that...

Meanwhile, in the real world, while we were talking, the woman's friend and their husbands moved their cooler and chairs away from the witch and our court. The woman didn't budge.

We took that as a good sign and decided to start warming up and playing. I think we might've actually gotten started around noon. We played doubles on and off until around 3.30pm or so.

Man, my legs and feet are achey today, just from staying on my feet and playing on the sand for hours. It must be summer again, cuz it hurts to walk! It was kind of extraordinary how comfortable my Skechers boots felt to my aching feet.

Anyhow, somewhere around 1.45, the witch's friend and her husband packed up and left. The witch herself remained, and at some point turned her seat in reaction to the moving sun. She didn't move away from our court, not an inch. With the beach emptying of people all around her and all, she just turned her chair. She finally ended up leaving w her guy (poor guy) at around 3.00. I'm certain that she stuck it out for as long as she could just to be as much of a thorn in our sides as possible. Sweet, no?

She packed up and left without a word. Do I smell a sequel?

Bleah, I certainly hope not.

Gotta say, it was our first day of ball at the beach, and our crew had some pretty remarkable vball control. We didn't once hit the crone, and skillfully dug up a few hits that might have. We probably only sprayed her w sand maybe twice. Bleah.

Well, so, other than that - a really grand day at the beach. Looking forward to more!


Keep on keepin on~