Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Happy Frickin Holidaze =)

(Jump to the postscript for basic instructions and skip w the pleasantries. =)

Oh!—You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why:

It's just not a very good look for you. So, stop it already.


Season's Greetings, Programs!

Let's see…

I'm already getting annoyed with having to walk all careful-like on icy sidewalks…

My Tivo tells me there's a DOCTOR WHO special on BBC America next week…

And IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE is playing at the Brattle!

You lucky people—that must mean it's time for a computerized Santamaclaustic funtimeparty in a browser window! Mixed and baked by the weird quiet guy who doesn't write analog cards and has two thumbs!

Umm, you couldn't see it, but right then, I just sorta puffed out my chest, cheezily beamed at the monitor, and pointed at myself, thumbs-ily.

So, please point your look-at-the-internets-on-your-computer* here to collect your major award for failing to commit my email to your spam folder! That or for being my bestest friend in the whole wide world web. Whichever.

And in the spirit of that enigmatic uncertainty, I hope all is well-to-brilliant with you and yours and wish you a Happy Frickin Frackin Holidaze!

Keep on keepin on~

* The Claus-ness is Flash-y, so I'm afraid your iStuff and some mobile-oids won't play it properly. You will need a web browser with the Flash plug-in. Apologies from 2008.

P.S. Just the facts to get started w the 2013 Holidaze Santacular…

1. Point your webs browser here. Note that these Santa bits feature a music-ish-al component, so you'll want your speakers or 'phones ready to bleep. Also, this x-mas-perience is Flash driven, sorry iFolks.

2. CLICK to advance from the splash screen to the intro and instructions. Read the yadda yadda if you like.


4. At the top of the screen, Santa will drop explosive gifts from the rooftop. At the bottom of the screen, you have to catch the gifts in your stockings or suffer a gift-splosion. Position the stockings using your mouse (the stockings will follow your lead).

5. To win, you must complete four (4) rounds of Santa's gift droppings. Heh. Droppings. To play again, you have to refresh the page.

6. If you miss a gift-bomb, you lose a stocking and start the round over again. If you lose all your stockings, you lose, you loser. Click to try again. Loser.

7. Please direct any grievances or accolades to this address. Thank you, Merry Crystal Skulls, and Happy Twenty for Teens!