(Please check all that apply.)
[ ] Sexy program!
[ ] Familial family!
[ ] Friendly friend!
[ ] Respected colleague!
[ ] Valued teammate!
[ ] Formidable opponent!
[ ] Brattle bud!
[ ] Copacetic acquaintance!
[ ] Fellow entry in a mutual friend's mailing list!
[ ] FB Friend(tm)!
[ ] FBI agent seeking to unite and strengthen America thru the use of the appropriate tools required to intercept and obstruct terrorism!
[ ] Other.
Here's my latest quasi-annual electronic fruitcake framistat, half-baked and presented to you to commemorate the end-of-year holiday cataclysm, y'know, instead of getting you a proper present or even a card...
(Expect effects of sound and musical accompaniment.)
This Xmas eve, you have to help that bastard Santa out of an elfin pickle. That's right, elfin, not effin', altho that may very well apply as well. You see, his faithful-yet-fed-up employees want to teach him a lesson... So, they've locked him up in the workshop to show him just how hazardous it can be. To get out in time to make his overnight deliveries, you must lead Santa to the five keys, left by the elves, that will unlock the workshop exit. But be careful, cuz the elves are right—the automated workshop is crappy place to work, full of peril and safety violations. If he gets struck by a forklift or crate, or takes an unsure step onto a present or a pile of coal, Santa's done for.
Io, Saturnalia! Happy Life Day! Farewell, year we make contact (did we?). Hello, Judgment Day (at least, that's what the Sarah Connor Chronicles told me =) ! Also, Mr. Year With No Integral Factors But Yourself And One.
Keep on keepin on~
p.s. The fruitcake is a little short on specific instructions, so here's a couple of tips. =)
1. Click the screen to start or re-start.
2. Use the arrow keys to maneuver.
3. The countdown clock is on the workshop wall, at the top left of the screen.
4. After failing to escape with the workshop running at full speed, you'll get the option to try again at not-as-madcap speed*, and more time**. Just click on the obnoxious invitation that appears near the bottom of the screen. =) *
Please direct all comments and complaints to this office. If for any reason you are not satisfied, I hate you. =)
p.p.s. Happy frickin holidaze.
p.p.p.s. Thanks to JG, NF, sis, and Frogger for feedback, beta testing, and inspiration.
* Later that night... Modified the game for an "EZ" option.
** Later still... Modified the "EZ" option with more time on the clock.