Sunday, December 25, 2005

HAPPY HOLIDAZE! =)


An allnighter-fueled draft of my "Hey, look at this thing over here" Holidaze email...

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2005EZ - the short form

Greetings, you poor fools who let your email addresses fall into my hands!

*sinister laughing broken up by a fit of coughing*

Right, well, enough w the pleasantries...

Please click here to point your browser and get your turn at viewing my slab of holiday 2005 digital scrimshaw.

Soulful Solstice Tidings and Best Wishes for less suck in the new year!~

Keep on keepin on,
brian out =)

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2005X - the long form

I do like the way the DAILY SHOW crew and alums have tackled the challenge of an all-encompassing and respectful holiday season's greeting...

No matter what god, gods, Survivor, American Idol, or WB show you worship, or don't, have a merry Christmas!

=)

While I hafta admit I'm a sucker for the gift giving and cheer spreading frenzy this time of year inspires, in the end, the slackerly part of me insists on doing almost anything possible to opt out of making a list, checking it twice, choosing cards, writing something that doesn't suck, and sending these cards to all y'all in a timely manner. So instead, what I end up doing is crafting - Well, maybe "crafting" isn't quite the right word...?

The process is not so well designed or planned, really, and I imagine its essence might better be captured by the word "passing...," as in... passing a movement... or even better, passing a stone. There is definitely significant aggravation and pain involved, carried around for days before successfully dropping this thing in the digital bucket.

Pleasant, no?

What that translates to in actual practice...

I fire up some obsolete animating tools on my beat-up Mac and cobble together a digital "holiday card," a short animated video. It's nothing so glorious or alive as a Pixar diamond, but more of a little dropping (you recall the "passing" sensation?) with something of a holiday flavor to it, mostly thanks to my star and buddy ol' pal Santa Claus. Once the animation is completed, or more accurately, once I run out of time - bleah - I post it online, and then email the location out to my friends, family, colleagues, and a number of poor bastards who had the misfortune to find themselves cc'd w me on some mass email or other this past year.

I go through all this schizo slacking as my version of a "Happy Holidays" greeting card, hopefully at least equivalent to a selection from the what-overpriced-crap-is-cool-this-week arrangement at Urban Outfitters, y'know?

And once it's out, released into the (world) wild (web), YOU watch it... you're exposed to it... you experience it... and everything starts to fall into place... it's like the answer to a question that you didn't know you wanted to ask...

Or no, that's not right, not quite...

It's more like the answer to a question... that you didn't know would be on the test, and it counts for bonus points, and you can see the smart kid's paper in the next row real easy cuz he's a lefty and yeah, you might feel bad about it, for a while, but, oh! You'll do it! Cuz frankly, you really need those extra points! I mean, you took the class cuz you thought it would be fun, and there's a high G2B ratio, and your brothers last year all rated it as an easy "A" - where the heck did all this hardass attitude on lab grades and section participation come from? Now it's wrecking your GPA, so damn straight you'll do it!

And that answer, it opens a little door in your heart, and you're filled with peace and joy, and okay, maybe just a little bit of rage, cuz that voice in your head will NEVER stop until you buy that high-powered rifle and that map of local clock towers, and you feel the love... for Santa, and for me (just, y'know, please be gentle... unless you like it rough, then I'm your rag doll, baby!), and for everyone you know, and don't know, and you want to share this feeling, so you share the link, and thanks to those new-fangled internets, very soon, everyone everywhere is happy and everything is wonderful...FOREVER!~

So! I've done my part. Now, it's your turn...

Say... If there's a war on Christmas who's our Christmas Czar?

Happy Whatever~

Keep on keepin on~

2 comments:

df said...

It rocked.

We can't get over the little details in his movement.

Well done!

cabinboy said...

Don't look TOO close, or you'll see all the cheating I did. =)